Shoot First, Apologize Later

NOBODY is omniscient, and we all make mistakes. Think I’m joking? WHO YA’ GOT? “God?” Is God a perfect, omniscient being that never makes mistakes? Really?

You think God would’ve created life on Earth if IT was omniscient enough to foresee “Bronies,” or the Star Wars prequels? IT doesn’t make mistakes? Have you ever SEEN a tongue louse, or Ceratothoa imbricata? The Coconut crab? ” You gonna’ tell me GOD wasn’t stupid crunk on ambrosia when IT created the naked mole rat?

The key to forgiveness is admitting to the mistakes. I, Unkiedev, would like to print some apologies.

I apologize to BOOM! Studio’s groovy comic book Adventure Time for not buying it earlier…I was not an early adopter to the TV show and have to come back, tail between legs to beg for a pardon. Luckily, BOOM! Has forgiven me with a 2nd edition reprint of Adventure Time #1 this week.

I’m sorry to everybody that I didn’t recommend the ground-breaking and headline grabbing Life With Archie #16 last week. I can’t say I’m a regular Archie reader, and I rarely recommend comic books for speculation purposes, but no matter how you want to view the politics of the dang thing, a same sex marriage in such a mainstream comics is a positive sign for changing times…not to mention that copies are selling on ebay right now for $15 bucks and more.

That wasn’t so hard, was it? I feel much better.

I’d like to apologize to the highly respectable Sean Von Gorman for paying no attention to his revisionist alternahistory title The Secret Adventures of Houdini. As covered by Bleeding Cool, NY1, our own Dan Roth on the daily planet page and on the tweets of Neil Gaiman (YES, THAT Neil Gaiman) Sean has set the bar for publicity stunts in the name of selling comics.

This past week, Sean handcuffed himself outside the shop until he sold out all copies of his new trade. You have inspired all small creators with your efforts. I shall run out and buy a copy now…or I guess I’ll have to wait for a second printing.

KUDOS, Sir! Please Forgive.

I’m sorry, Radhika, that I couldn’t make it to your birthday party two weeks ago. I’m sorry to my wife that I forgot to clean out the kitchen sink strainer after straining the chili. I’m sorry to Brandon Graham and Image comics that I’m only going to plug his CRAZY fun TP King City (out this week!) once in this column. I really should plug it more, as it is wacky, well drawn cat-throwing insanity, but I only have so much room, ya’ know?

I’m sorry to Dan Slott for not buying Amazing Spider-Man #680. I KNOW it had Spider-Man in a space suit…but I thought that was a gimmick. After Punisher: Force of Nature I’ve been wary of awesome covers, but can you blame me? When your cover features the Punisher fighting an albino sperm whale, I expect there to be some Moby Dick action in that thing…nope.

I’ll make it up to you, Dan. I’ll buy Amazing Spider-Man #681…especially as you’re teaming Spidey with Johnny Storm, the Human Torch. Any Spidey fan who DOESN’T own Slott’s fantastic Spider-Man Human Torch miniseries must make it’s acquisition a priority.

THERE. Soul cleansed of the grit and grime of shameful regret, I can now renew my energies towards better comic book reviews and recommendations. Thank you all for acting as the priest to my confessions.

Make sure you pick up the new HELLBOY trade, Hellboy Vol. 12 The Storm and the Fury. You don’t want to regret missing it…now do you?!


More musings from Unkiedev, Earth’s own sidekick, can be read at

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