Batman In A Whale

By Unkiedev

Marvel tells us that Ultimate X #4 will ship this week.  Sure it will. I’ve only plugged it three times, and each solicitation fails to deliver.  If the Gods of Comic Books indeed intend to smile on us this week I can recommend few books more than Ultimate X #4. Don’t know the characters?  Don’t know the story?  Not to worry!  Art Adams art is some of the best in the biz…one look at those amazing pages and you won’t care what you’re reading!

AND if you don’t care what you’re reading then I’ve got some great place mats from road side diners you can borrow. They aren’t drawn by Art Adams, so that’s a minus, but they do have fun facts about pirates and a partially completed search-a-word puzzle.

If you DO care about what you read then check THIS stuff out!

Dark Horse continues it’s love affair with all things Whedon by continuing Joss’s failed (but trippy) TV show Dollhouse.  In Dollhouse Epitaphs One Shot we get a glimpse into a world where a virus does something far worse than turn you into a zombie: it steals your memories, your identity and turns you into a brainless ZOMBIE…oh pooh.  Well, it’s still pretty scary.

Meanwhile, Batman starts off a new mystery inside a Killer Whale in Detective Comics #875! Say what you will about DC, they sure know how to kick off a comic book!

Over at Image they continue to pump out the goods. Walking Dead #83 is a sure bet.  Savage Dragon #170 should be read by anyone who had never read an issue of Savage Dragon before…I still maintain that Dragon is one of the best silver age homage books available, if you look at it in the right light.

PLUS, and hea’ me out now peoples, Dey’ gots dem’ talkin’ animal comic books ya’ grandparents used to read about too, only now dem animals shoot each udda’ in the face and boffin’ hot chicks.  Ya’ ain’ts neva’ read an issue of Elephantmen?  Well dey’ got Elephantmen: Men and Elephants #1 out dis week to set dat record straight.

Amazing Spider-Man #657 has Dan Slott, arguably the best Spider-Man writer for twenty years capping off the tragic death within the Fantastic Four. THIS will be good!  Spidey’s also going to work for Mayor Bloomberg in Spider-Man: You’re Hired!

But probably not as good as Cyclops #1!  I have had flame-war after pointless flame-war on the internet about my particular dislike of Scott Summers.  Basically I had to recognize what it is that’s missing in his character that made me dislike him: he’s humorless.  I like Spidey! I like Shulkie!  I LOVE wacky lunatics like Batroc the Leaper!

What’s that you say?  Cyclops #1 will feature Cyclops vs. Batroc with the Circus of Crime backing them up?!  A comedy book where Cyclops is the straightman to a prancing French mustachioed master of a forgotten martial art?!  WOW!  This makes that “Batman in a Whale” thing seem likes child’s play!

Until they make a comic book where Howard the Duck wrestles Bigfoot while judging a beauty contest drawn by Adam Hughes and written by Alan Moore, Cyclops #1 might just be the best premise for a comic book of all time…except for Ultimate X, to which the premise is “We have Art Adams.”  ‘Nuff Said.

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