Birthday Wish

If I had one birthday wish this year it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes this birthday the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

Y’know, if I had three wishes three wishes this birthday the first, of course, would be for all that crap about the kids, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for Forbidden Planet’s first aisle to less jam-packed, crammed, and otherwise teeming with readers and shelf-leaners on peak hours; most notably new comic day.


Consider this an impassioned plea from FP’s intrepid manager/buyer as he creeps into crotchety old manhood on the anniversary of his birth. Those stickers attached to the New Release rack? The ones that read, “Please be considerate of your fellow browsers by not blocking the shelves”? Those stickers were my idea and the theory behind them is my greatest birthday wish. That every customer that walks through that door is able to check out our new wares without being impeded by the inconsiderate loitering and unnecessary shelf blockage of a few patrons that ruin others’ shopping experience.

Now I understand that FP has grown considerably the last few years, with thousands of new customers, hundreds of new books per week more than once were, and dozens of new and bulky shelving units. I get that. Every business wants to be the victim of its own success along those lines. Problem is our square footage hasn’t grown. And it can’t in this location. I also don’t mean to come off as the “this ain’t a library” retailer. Youse guys are more than welcome to peruse our books… within reason. Checking out a title to see what’s going on in the Marvel Universe is fine. Especially if that’s going to inform a purchasing decision. Reading one of every book in front of one of the busiest comic racks in the world during its busiest times is definitely NOT COOL.

It’s so not cool I’d produce an afterschool special about it if they made those anymore.

A lot of this comes from having been a customer here myself. I know what it’s like to travel a long way back home and realize that you missed a new book you were looking forward to because some disrespectful “reader” was blocking a large chunk of the alphabetical run and you missed it. That bites.

So next time you wish to look through something in that aisle I respectfully implore you to take your items and maybe move to another spot in the store. I implore you to come back at another time, perhaps a Thursday late evening or a Saturday morning when we’re slightly less crowded and when you’re less likely to disturb a fellow fan’s shopping experience. Please.

If I had a fourth wish it’d be for all of us to have as amazing a Forbidden Planet experience as we can. Let’s make that happen, huh?

Love Ya,

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