Tagged: X-Mas

An X-MAS Tale!

The portal opened five feet from his left, and Wolverine watched the lanky, muscled frame of his former teammate and friend step out onto the snowy grounds of the Jean Gray School for Gifted Students. Cyclops looked grim as usual, and travelled with a dusty satchel. Wolverine couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Scott Summers smile.

Wolverine Cyclops X-Men cartoon

“I’m here, Logan.” Cyclops said, looking around for traps. “What is it you needed? Make it quick, I’m a wanted man.”

Wolverine uncrossed his arms and stepped forward. “I’ve been one too, Cyke, many times. After awhile, being out in the cold gets to ya’.” Scott just nodded, and so Wolverine continued. “Remember that first Christmas back at the Mansion with Chucky, Kitty, Peter and Kurt? We all laughed watchin’ Storm give the Professor Snow-Fros?”

“That was a long time ago,” Cyclops said, and instantly struggled with a thought. How long ago was that? Sometimes it feels like it was Thirty years ago, but it may have been only Five.

“If there’s one thing you learn while being an X-Man, it’s that time can always be changed.” Wolverine half smiled, and reached behind a nearby statue. He pulled out a box, brightly wrapped in red and green candy cane printed paper.

It was an X-Mas present from one X-Man to an Ex-X-Man.

Cyclops opened the box with hesitant hands. Years of battle hardened ambushes had trained him to be wary of gifts. What lay inside the present surprised him more than any bomb, alien parasite or severed head of a beloved comrade.

Inside the box was a case of custom made, ruby quartz contact lenses. Enough to last an entire year.

“Merry X-Mas, Slim.” growled Wolverine. “Hank helped with the design. I wonder why we’ve never thought of this before.”

“Logan,” choked Scott, “It’s-. I don’t know what to say.” Embarrassed, he turned and reached into his travel bag, taking out a brightly wrapped box of his own. Wolverine was stunned. He did not expect this…because this story takes place now. If this was the 80’s or 90’s, they would have said Wolverine could pre-smell the present with his heightened senses, but nobody remembers that power set anymore.

“I had hoped your message was sincere, so I came prepared. Thanks for forgiving me for killing Professor X. Again.” Cyclops laughed.

“Ah, heck, Slim. Who hasn’t killed that bald S.O.B. once or twice. Now what have we here,” Wolverine asked, opening the gift. He, too, was surprised because again- no heightened sense of smell.

Rogue, Jubilee, X-Men cartoon

Inside was an Adamantium claw sharpener with a jar of Adamantium claw polish. Wolverine smiled. Cyclops did the same. Somewhere a jolly, fat elf was Ho-Hoed. They both started to laugh.

“You know, Scott, this gift is the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever given me,” Wolvie sighed, “And as useless as a Metrocard for Nightcrawler. You see-” and what followed was a sickening SHLACK sound, as the bloody stumps of bones broke through Wolverine’s hands. “I sold my Adamantium claws and skeleton to a scrap dealer in order to afford the Ruby Quartz Contacts.”

Tears started to swell in Scott Summers’ eyes, as he broke into a silly grin. “Of course. That seems like our luck, Logan, because you see-” He paused. Red streaks started to roll down his cheeks. Tears of blood were flowing fast now, as Cyclops removed his visor, revealing the ruined cavities of his former weapons. “I sold my eyes to a mutant organ harvester in order to afford the Adamantium claw sharpener.”

They laughed, cried, hugged and bled all over each other there in the snow, both laughing at the magic of Christmas. They soon both passed out from blood loss and died of exposure.

MERRY X-MAS!

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We Are The Walking Dead… X-Mas Gift Recipients.

What better way to celebrate the birth of the original zombie, Jesus Christ that is, than with a few gifts from the most popular name in the undead genre! I’m talking The Walking Dead baby, or TWD or WD, depending on how lazy I get. Who would have guessed Robert Kirkman’s apocalyptic adventure would become a household name? Not I said the fly…and the fly has been swarming this crew of walkers from day one. So if the fly didn’t see this coming how could anyone possibly have? Lucky for you The Walking Dead just so happens to be our middle name. So take it from us, Forbidden The Walking Dead Planet, we know what that brain muncher in your life wants this holiday season.

Walking Dead Compendium Vol 01 – For starters, did you know Walking Dead was a comic long before it was a hit TV show? Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t, who cares? This Compendium collects the first eight volumes of the comic in one compact super affordable edition. If you never read them, this is by far the best way to start. Only 59.99 for what normally cost more than double that, talk about bang for your buck. So you say they have been with TWD from the start, well then tell your giftee to preserve those back issues and dig in to this big guy next re-read.

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Walking Dead Zombie Head Keychain – Picture this! You’re speeding down the street trying to get home to catch the newest episode of The Walking Dead… woop woop woop… you get pulled over. Officer Whatsername leans in and is about to asks for your license and registration when he catches a quick glimmer of light coming off your key ring… “Is that a Walking Dead zombie head dangling from your keys there?” he says. “Why yes it is sir” You answer. His eyes go wide and a smile begins to form “What do you think about Daryl Dixon? Oh dip! You better get going you’re gonna miss the new episode!” Look at that, you just avoided a ticket, points on your license, and possibly a trip down the river if he checked your trunk, and all because you have this Walking Dead Zombie Head Keychain.

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Walking Dead TV Series 10 inch Daryl Dixon – Speaking of Daryl Dixon, who wouldn’t wanna wake up on Christmas morning to find a little replica of the man himself under the tree. I’m sure even Norman Reedus would be stoked on this McFarlane made figure.

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Rick Grimes Bust Bank – Help that special someone in your life get a head start on saving for next Christmas with this Rick Grimes Bust Bank.

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The Walking Dead Chronicles – Expand your knowledge of the AMC television series with this dense official companion book. Filled with behind the scenes photos, story boards, and tons of insider info.

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I Heart Zombie Shirt – What better gift for The Walking Dead lover in your life than a shirt that literally expresses ones love for The Walking Dead!

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Art of Charlie Adlard HC – They have ever issue of the comic, every toy from the show and a healthy amount of swag… what can I possibly get them that they don’t have? How about this brand new Charlie Adlard art book! The artist behind the comic gets the royal treatment with this sweet deluxe hardcover, packed with sketches, concept art and a pencil to ink comparison of the entire 100th issue of Adlard’s work for TWD. Who wouldn’t want that?

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Hope that helps you take a bite out of that shopping list. With this helpful little reference guide you got all walks of Walking Dead fandom covered, from your boob tubers to your book worms. If you got a zombie in your life, we got a way to make them happy. Well… as happy as a zombie could be.

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