Tagged: Vampires

Spawn of Unkiedev

So last Thursday my wife gave birth to our first child. #Overrated. I had always thought that my son would have a great love of comics like his old man. So far Unkiedev Jr. likes only two things: chaos and nipples.

Don’t get me wrong, that’s my kind of guy. I’m slightly worried that he’s a vampire, as he sleeps all day and, much like a Lost Boy, parties all night. My suspicions were NOT quelled when the nurse told us that the newborn feeds on milk which Momma synthesizes from her blood.

Diagnosis: Vampire.

BAD ATTITUDE

There’s a catch-22 to being the new father to a geek baby. Unless your particular brand of geek chic is compulsively collecting swaddling clouts, there is not a single aspect of our collections that are baby safe.

Now that I have a baby I have to put my autographed Michael Dorn Bat’leth in storage. Apparently, avenging one’s blood honor is not “Age Appropriate.” All my thousands of brightly colored LEGO pieces, GONE. My friend was going to give me, no joke, an unopened Masterpiece Skywarp Transformer he had an extra of. Needless to say, that ain’t happening now.

I’m starting to think the Missus wanted a child just so she could have the spare bedroom cleaned.

LIVING THE DREAM

We collect these vast storehouses of awesome in order to pass them on to our progeny, but in order to have room for a safe baby, half of it has to go.

Sometimes it’s easy to know what to toss in order to make room for baby. I was about to throw out my run of Civil War when who should walk out of a time vortex but my baby, now 53 and sporting a sweet robotic arm and dashing facial scar. He said that the number one comic character of the future is CLOR, and that our family’s slow decline into cannibalistic madness starts with me throwing his first appearance out.

“Good to know,” I said, as I lit them on fire. Look, I’ve watched enough Doctor Who to recognize a Living Skin Doppelganger when I see one.

RAGE

This process of distillation is healthy and natural. The most beautiful Bonsai trees are created from careful pruning.

When my son is 16 he’s going to want this red leather slipcase of Kingdom Come in order to ironically make himself feel better that girls think he’s nerdy, but I don’t think he, or anybody else in 16 years, is going to want a DVD set of New Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5. Some things are better left unseen.

That is all from Unkiedev and family. I have to go… Baby is crying his eyes out. I think he just found out they’re making The Hobbit movies a trilogy.

All our breast. I mean best. Either way, all of it.

NEXT WEEK: Guest columnist Alternate Timeline Unkiedev Jr. will tell us all what makes CLOR so special.

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More musings from Unkiedev, Earth’s own sidekick, can be read at unkiedev.blogspot.com

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New Comics: Vampires and Battle Chasers oh my!

Slow does not describe the comic week ahead of us. Let’s get right down to the good stuff, shall we?

Vamparella Master Series, (W) Mark Millar and Grant Morrison, Dynamite Press

One of the best bets this week, and again this will give you an idea of how sparse the goodies are, is this reprint edition of Grant Morrison and Mark Millar Vampirella stories.

You know Mark and Grant, right? Without them there would BE NO contemporary comic book market. You are also aware of the, ah, “body of work” of Ms. Rella’s, aren’t you? She’s the lady Vampire who came from space to wear skimpy outfits and eat criminals.

There is no way in heck these stories are going to be run-of-the-mill. Run of the Millar, maybe. Two of the industries top talents reprinted from days past when they were struggling for a wider audience, telling stories about a wardrobe challenged Vampire with a thirst for justice. NICE.

Still, sometimes I wish there was a comic book character with BIGGER breasts than Vampirella. Sigh, if only…. Continue reading

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Warcraft With A Vengeance

By Mat K.

There’s not a tremendous amount of stuff coming out this week, but there are some good ones, and almost all of it seems to be TokyoPop as they try to take back the reigns at the end of the month. First in their arsenal this week, (I’m not sure why first exactly, it’s not alphabetical or anything), is World Of Warcraft: Shadow Wing “The Dragons Of Outland, written by Richard A. Knaak and illustrated by Jae-Hwan Kim. Yup it’s one hell of a title, and a pain for the computer systems, but it’s also a direct sequel to the Sunwell Trilogy from a couple years ago. At the end of the Sunwell Trilogy the blue dragon Tyri, and the human paladin Jorad left the Ghostlands. Unfortunately they get sucked through a dark portal and end up in Outland where the Orcs and other species come from. And there they discover a breed of dragons unlike any they have ever seen. Find out if they can control this strange, mutated army before it over takes them.

Also appearing this week is another World of Warcraft class-based book like the Death Knight book that came out a little while ago. this new one is called Mage. Basically it follows a young mage who faces his greatest challenge when he is forced to confront a foe only he can stop. And it has a really pretty cover of a lady Night Elf. Continue reading

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Various Nightmares

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For those of you who’ve not experienced NIGHTMARE’s annual haunted houses the last few years here in NYC you’re really missing out. Those in the know will tell ya- the productions are top notch, the creatives involved dedicated and intensely passionate, and the whole shebang is usually a scarifying adrenaline rush rarely obtained outside of an encounter with a Lamia (watched Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell last night, hence the reference… Man alive was that neat-0). NIGHTMARE creator Timothy Haskell and his crew work on this all year long and it shows.

I went through on opening night 2009 with the folks from Abracadabra, a staple costume shop on 21st St., themselves appreciators of the macabre and horrific, and I must say with no hyperbole it was my best NIGHTMARE experience yet.

This year’s production concerns Vampires, (the venue has been transformed into the “Museum of Vampyric Artifacts”) and it does well to portray various interpretations of them throughout history- from Nosferatu to Castlevania (looping on a relic front-loading NES) to the gory zombie-hybrids made popular by 28 Days Later. You begin your tour of MoVA guided by a rather innocent looking vamp and then things… well, they go to hell. In a hand basket. So as to not ruin any of the various chills and spooks I won’t go into details. However, I will recommend pushing the red buttons (in keeping with the museum theme they’re strewn around as if to provide insight and information about the exhibits). Trust me- if you’re a mischievous sprite such as myself you’ll be pushing these every chance ya get.

Ladies: don’t bring lame-o’s too cool to be scared, with their hands in their pockets and cynicism in their souls. Like anything fun, you have to open yourself up to the experience. Fellas- bring girls who like to scream. And if you scream like a girl (I don’t, but did. Twice.) bring yourself.

Oh, and this one is definitely not for the kiddies. Unless you bring ’em along on Kids Day Saturday 10/24 froom 10am-3pm.

Nightmare: Vampires NOHO Event Center 623 Broadway at Houston Street (enter on Mercer Street).
NOW through November 7th

for more details see: hauntedhousenyc.com

The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks by Max Brooks from Crown Books on Vimeo.

The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks “Those who don’t learn from zombie history are condemned to repeat it.” New York Times Best-Selling author Max Brooks returns with a graphic novel handbook for encounters with the differently-dead (or the living impaired, what have you). Chronicling zombie attacks down through the centuries (Romans? Pre-historic man? None are safe from this terrible scourge!). This GN is old, amazing hat for Max, and features his signature tongue-in-cheek documentarian approach, and it’s deftly illustrated by Brazilian newcomer Ibraim Roberson. Roberson’s art in this is so good, in fact, you’ll want to keep an eye on him, especially his forthcoming Marvel one-shot X Necrosha (previews of which can be seen here at marvel.com), and any future creepfests.

Recorded Attacks really is a top book.

Now if only I could come up with some sort of Crypt Keeper pun to end this thing. How about, “Until next time boys an ghouls, Make Mine Carve-l…. eh-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!”

tck

Wait. That looks like Carvel. As in the ice cream. What I meant was carve.  Ya know, as in, like, to cut something with a huge knife? Instead of Marvel?  Ah, forget it.

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