It would be the acme of foolishness to bake Spider-Man a rhubarb pie, as way of reciprocation, should he save you from one of the Green Goblin’s pumpkin bombs. Don’t get me wrong. Pies are nice, but as we all know: ACTION is the Spider-Man’s TRUE reward.
YES, Virginia, Spider-Man is an adrenaline junkie. One might get the impression that ole’ Web-Head regularly engages in sports that we meager mortals might deem X-TREME. Our minds begin to conjure pictures of Spidey bungie-jumping off of the Empire State Building with his webbing or competing in the New York Marathon by running along the sides of buildings.
Imagine if Mayor Bloomberg had managed to get the Olympic games for New York! It would have been a prime target for super-villainy, as most of Spidey’s foes are blubbery dorks like Dr. Octopus and The Vulture who probably hate decent things like curling, ping-pong and the luge. NOW Imagine Spider-Man competing in a snow-boarding competition with Slyde, the frictionless bank robber, or playing solo as the only member of the US Hockey team not affected by a shrink-ray against Dr. Doom’s Latverian team of identical Doom-Bots!
Wow, this stuff just writes itself.
NO, NO, NO! I’m getting way ahead of myself. YES Spidey does what he has to do to keep us safe, but remember: the Amazing Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker, and his alter ego is far more spectacled than spectacular. Peter Parker is an amateur chemist, a professional photographer and likes to wear sweater vests. In short: he is a nerd. Continue reading