The Future of comic books has arrived:
SUPERMAN FAMILY ADVENTURES #2, Franco (W) Art BAltazar (W/A), DC
This is everything good with comics. Bizarro is going to punch Superman. Bizarro is a’gonna’ try and punch Supergirl, though I suspect she shall prove too fast and wily for our choky antagonist. All of this shall be rendered in a style so cute, it would make the denizens of Candy Land heave a collective sigh of adoration.
Should this prove insufficient to render instant purchase, yea jaded comics buyers, the cover of this comic promises that there will be a Kryptonian mouse named Fuzzy. He has his own lil’ super cape an’ everything. AW.
YOU TRY and not buy this. I dare you to. Don’t you want to see Superman ask Fuzzy for help against Bizarro? Can’t you imagine Streaky, Supergirl’s be-caped super cat chasing Fuzzy around so fast that they reset time? Don’t you want to see Fuzzy the Kryptonian mouse fly up Bizarro’s nostril and rip his skull out of his backwards feet…did I do that right? If normal people have skulls in their heads, then the people of Bizarro world have skulls in their feet?
But then again, they wouldn’t THINK with their brains. They would think with their skulls, and the brains would be wrapped around the skull to protect it. Let me ask that previous question in a more correct grammatical fashion, Bizarro wise:
Don’t you want to see Fuzzy the Kryptonian super mouse fly up Bizarro’s nostrils (Which he uses to see things with) in order to rip through his body, straight down to his feet in order to rip the skulls out of his legs from their squishy brain covers? Continue reading
EDITOR: Please run this column LAST week, Thanks. – Unkiedev
HEY! I’m BACK from THE FUTURE with an AMAZING preview of NEXT week’s comic books! Let’s be clear: if you are reading this column “on time,” which is to say on the week of May 31st through June 5, 2011 than this will be an incredibly succinct and adrenalin pumping preview of the books to come out soon. If you are reading this column when it’s NOT supposed to come out, say the week of June 6th through the 12th then this will just seem like a regular run down of that week’s new releases.
Time Travel makes everything better, from comic books to family reunions. Just ask Philip J. Fry. Continue reading
HEY! Comic Book day falls on my birthday this year! Yup, your ole’ Unkiedev will be turning an undisclosed number somewhere between twenty something and some combination of 30 and a few more. How to celebrate? Why, A nice cup of cocoa, a warm badger to serve as my footstool and I’m all set to dig into this week’s sensational comic book offerings. AH! Badger feet.
Marvel has a few goodies up their sleeve. Did I say goodies? I mean baddies! Astonishing X-Men #36 has Wolvie throw down with those big-footed Jack Kirby monsters from Monster Island! Count me in! Then we have a little something called Kick-Ass 2 #2, ‘nuff said. Amazing Spider-Man #655 has more movin’ and shakin’ than a bowl of jelly on acid! Then in Avengers #10 the Hood has the Infinity Gauntlet. This is bad…so bad, it’s good!
At an undisclosed time in the undisclosed past I had embarked upon an epoch entitled “Comic Book Ideas Lying About on the Launch- Pad of Neglect” or some such. This article was about the heaps of cash to be made by securing the licensing rights to certain comic book properties that have been unpublished forever or far too long ago. I bring this up because A) I have more ideas and B) I have no money to secure the rights myself. May the comic book Gods smile upon the ideas contained within:
UNKIEDEV’s Guide to the Best Available Comic Book Licensors In Town!
They haven’t published an Alf comic since the year of our Lord 1992. I think the world is ready for some young enterprising comic book house (IDW I’m Looking at you) to grasp the reigns of retro and give the world what it wants: An all ages, post modern approach to the Alien Life Form who lodged with the Tanner family known as Alf.
Graphic depictions of Cat consumption and the grim and gritty realities of dealing with an alien life form would make for excellent reading and sales. I want to see ALF, an Alien from the Planet Melmack deal with Menopause. I want to see an alien life form figure out a way to deal with his addiction to huffing Pine-sol. I want to see Alf react to the Greenbay Packers victory.
Currently IDW is doing a “Zombie Invasion” storyline with their other licensed properties, such as G.I. Joe, Ghostbusters and Transformers. All I can say is: “Alf vs. Zombies?” Aw HECK yeah! Continue reading
Cripes Dangit! I’ve been swept out to sea by a freakin’ flash flood and have NO comic books to read this week. While you’re reading DC’s Action Comics #893 this week, featuring a drag-down, messed up punch fest between Gorilla Grodd and Lex Luther I’ll be starving and suffering from Hypothermia. While you’re enjoying the latest Chew #14, I’ll be havin’ a blast watching my teeth fall out from scurvy. Whoop-dee-freakin’-DOO! While you’re blah blah blah Ultimate X #4, I’ll be blah blah something awful involving suffering in the middle of the ocean.
LOBO: HIGHWAY TO HELL, Scott Ian (W), Sam Kieth (A), DC
I plugged this when it came out and I’ll plug it now that it’s a Trade-Paperback.
I LOVE Sam Kieth’s moody, painterly art but I cannot stand his repetitive story themes. Fortunately Scott Ian of the metal band Anthrax is on writing duties with a story about the baddest alien bounty-hunter of all time taking Satan down a notch. BAM!
Lobo was THE biggest star of the late 90’s comic scene…kinda’ like Deadpool is today only grungier, I suppose. He’s an alien who’s race was so tough that he had to kill them all lest they ever try to muscle in on his intergalactic shake-down rackets. His high point was killing Santa Clause back when that meant something…the low point of his career was being killed by Wolverine during the DC/Marvel voting crossover. This will sound ultra-geeky, but there is NO WAY Wolverine could defeat Lobo. Continue reading
Last week I raged against the oncoming storm that is the Yogi Bear 3D CGI movie. A good friend and blogger, a.k.a. “Jim” of jimsmash.blogspot.com pointed out one of the posters for said celluloid turkey and the rather, awkward catch phrase it employs.
“Good things come in Bears.”
No, I did not make that up. Man this movie gives me the creeps.
Speaking of which, Dark Horse has a brand new arch in the ongoing saga of Hellboy’s ex-co-workers over at the B.P.R.D. It seems that Abe Sapien and the gang have been placed under U.N. jurisprudence and will have to fight red tape as well as monsters. Check out the battle between paperwork and the monsters it protects in this week’s B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth- New World #1… and buy Buzzard #3 while you’re at it! Continue reading