Comic books are all the rage, and tomorrow’s star of the printed page will be the next big thing on the silver screen! Yep, Hollywood money is whipping up every able-bodied creator into a creative tizzy. WHO will create the next Iron Man, Batman and Jonah Hex so that they can be watered down into unrecognizable action figure grade silhouettes of themselves for a feckless public to mass consume?
But classic comic book characters like Constantine, The Mystery Men and Tank Girl don’t just bubble up out of the ground like some sort of addictive, mind controlling white food substitute, they (unfortunately) have to be thought up in the minds of human beings, those rotten jerks.
“Ah dangit!” you weakly bleat. “I’m barely a human being as it is. How the heck am I supposed to come up with a new comic book character with warmth, foibles and features…especially when I only want to do so to enjoy the contemporary financial windfall that comic books are (supposedly) enjoying?”
Well, the real question, sir or madam is “Do you want a little cheese to go with that whine?”
Never fear, peasants. Unkiedev is here to tell you what to think. Follow these simple steps and you too can create legendary comic book characters! Continue reading
Brian Michael Bendis was an unloved worthless nothing before he self published a few crime comic books. Now? He’s Marvel’s top writer, recognized by dozens of people the world over and he probably got to meet Stan Lee once or twice.
Harvey Pekar was just a shlubby file clerk from Cleveland, but after self-publishing his award nominated comic book “American Splendor” his sad, pathetic life was turned into a movie. COOL!
Forbidden Planet favorite Steve Mannion was just another sex addicted race-car driver before he began self publishing his own comics. Now he sits in a room in New Jersey and draws comic every day…and if he ever stops he’ll starve. I bet he hasn’t seen the sun ONCE this month!
Yes, the fun and rewards from self-publishing your own comic books are evident to anybody with access to an electron microscope. Follow these simple instructions and you might be trapped in a special, private hell all your own because You Too Can Self Publish Your Own Comic Books! Continue reading
By Devin T. Quin
With suitcase nukes and the proliferation of biological weapons, there’s a fairly good chance humanity could wipe itself out within, oh, say the next 48 hours. Should you be lucky enough to survive the coming biohazards and mutant attacks that follow, it shall fall unto you to rebuild our once great civilization.
The post-apocalyptic job market is understandably bleak. Mailman, outback scavenger or gyro pilot will be the best positions John Q. Public could hope for. Not you, however! By memorizing these five simple steps you will have the ability to draw comicdom’s favorite funster, the Amazing, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, making you the new Walt Disney/Leonardo Da Vinci of the radiated dawn. Continue reading