Every week I look forward to being mugged by an invisible assailant right in plain view of others. I have always found this gentleman thief, though thorough, to be fair. Maybe you’ve been robbed blind by this same perp. Its name is Wednesday, a.k.a. “New Comics Day.” I like this perp.
Some people do not…and by people I mean “Satan.” He has decided that this New Comics Day will be complicated by evil and external forces. Storms, Floods, Rat Plagues and Halloween stand between you and giving us your money this Wednesday!
Usually, we here at Forbidden Planet are Pro-Satan, or at least Satan-ambivalent. This time, the big S has gone too far. This Wednesday, we need you to be very brave and come on back to the Forbidden Planet. We need you to shop for comics for Christ. Or for Satan. Whatever, we just want to make sure you get your comics. [Editor’s note: This post was obviously written before we had to shut down for a week due to storm-related power outages. Sorry about that. Clearly Satan won this round.]
YEAH, WHAT ABOUT COMICS?
After 73 years, someone has finally figured out how to stop Superman. In this week’s Action Comics Annual #1, not only do we get to stare at Superman’s crotch and wish it was red, we also get to see the showdown between Superman and Kryptonite Man! There have been SEVERAL Kryptonite Men over the years, some with sleeves and some without. This NEW, Post Crisis, Post New 52 Kryptonite Man has not only NO SLEEVES, but no ARMS! BWA-HA-HA! He has some sort of Kryptonite arms! AH! SCARY!
Speaking of scary, Steve “30 Days of Night” Niles and the AMAZING Glenn Fabry have a new horror comic out this week from DC called Lot 13! It sounds great! THAT will really show Satan who’s boss! Jesus wants you to buy blood-puking horror comics! Jesus also wants you to buy Masters of the Universe: Origins of Skeletor #1 this Wednesday, too. Or Satan does. I forget…hum.
We better pick up as many horror comics as we can in order to play the field. I’ll be picking up the latest Ghostbusters Ongoing #14, then Vampirella #24, Happy #2 and, uhm, New Mutants #50…those are horror comics, right?
I KNOW! The perfect compromise! Mars Attacks Holiday Special #1 should keep both sides of the religious fence appeased. Besides, I think the Martians are agnostics.
There is positively no storm, nor flood, nor rat plague that could keep me from Happy #2, A + X #1 or Ultimate Spider-Man 2 #18.
And no amount of Trick or Treaters is going to prevent me from picking up T-Shirts, figures, trade paperbacks and spectacular comics. As a matter of fact, neither Hurricane Sandy, Jesus/Satan, Rat Plagues, nor apathy will stop me from getting my butt to the Forbidden Planet and letting that perfect thief, Wednesday, from picking my pocket!
NEXT WEEK: Rebuilding New York City after Hurricane Sandy using only the lessons we can glean from comic books.
More musings from Unkiedev, Earth’s own sidekick, can be read at unkiedev.blogspot.com