Grant Morrison, a writer of trashy “funny-books,” has been made a Member of the British Empire. The decline of Western civilization now seems to be complete.
Morrison is not properly English, nor of gentle birth, having been born to Scottish commoners. In fact, his father was an active dissident, so deranged as to protest against the construction of direly needed nuclear weapons.
A fan of the Christ-hating John Lennon, Morrison wasted his youth playing in a “rock group,” before achieving fame in the torrid underworld of comic-books. He has since written hateful screeds against sexual repression, monotony, the joys of wage slavery, and even consensus reality itself – not to mention our beloved Archons – in such works as Doom Patrol, Animal Man, The Invisibles, Kill Your Boyfriend, the Filth, New X-Men, We3 and All-Star Superman. During this time, he wallowed in the sins of cross-dressing and drug use, communed with extra-terrestrials of unknown origin, and honed his skills in the black arts of Chaos Magic.
There is no future. And England is dreaming.
There is not a single problem that can befall man nor beast that cannot be resolved through the awesome powers of this week’s new comic books. S’true!
Let’s pretend you are a wasp and you’re way behind building you new hive. Not only does Doom Patrol #20 feature bizarre characters written by the incomparable Keith Giffen, but you could eat it, digest it and regurgitate it out to make a wood pulp perfect for your queen’s new chambers! The same goes for Superboy #5, which features a race to the finish between Superboy Connor Kent and Kid Flash! Wowee!
“Unkiedev,” you might now declare, “You are a glue-sniffing fool. I am neither NOT a wasp. This solution will not suit, sir! I am, however, living in an alternative universe which has been taken over by Zombie hoards and trying to date a half mutated hippopotamus.” Continue reading
By Devin T. Quin
Last week’s reprieve from the comics publishing schedule meant we could save up our ducats for this week’s bumper crop! Of course, we spent that money on New Years beer and Karaoke. Sigh, time to break the piggie bank!
THE BIG GUNS
You name a hero and DC is printing them this week! I’m looking forward to Sam Keith on Batman Confidential #40, as well as weirdo books Doom Patrol #6 and The Great Ten #3! DC Executive Editor Dan Didio is brushing off his writing skills on this week’s Weird Western Tales #71, which is really good and bad news.
The good news is: some of your favorite Silver Age cowboy stars such as Bat Lash and Scalp Hunter are BACK. The bad news is they’re back as Black Lanterns via a tie-in to DC’s ongoing Space-Zombie mash-up “Darkest Night.” Most interestingly is this comic will also has Jonah Hex as a Black Lantern… I could easily see them restoring him to life and throwing Jonah into the current DC Universe. Here’s for hoping!
Marvel has a slew of comic goodness stew, though stand-outs (For me) include Deadpool Team-Up #897 and event starter The Siege #1, though only one of these comics has Deadpool teaming up with BOTH Ghost Riders to stop the assassination of a young lad with Lobster Claw deformity. Choose wisely.
House of Ideas is also doing what it does best: Reusing past material by reprinting X-Men Mutant Massacre in trade-paperback this week! Chris Clairmont, John Romita Jr., Alan Davis, Barry-Windsor-Smith and more are on hand to tell you a pivotal tale of THE FIRST TIME Mavel declared war on all Mutants. That race gets wiped clean more often than a dry erase board, I tells ya’! Continue reading