Category: Spoliers

Somewhere Around The Number Ten Best Comics That Nobody Told You About

Part 1:

I love Chris Ware. Bit redundant to say so this holiday season with everyone and their sister buying Building Stories, but with so much comic awesomeness that happened in 2012; between Charles Burn’s second installment to his X’ed Out trilogy, The Hive, and Brian K. Vaughn’s SagaSAGA… It’s too easy for amazing comics to get lost in the stacks, so I’m here to give my somewhere around the number 10 best comics of 2012 that nobody told you about…

LOSE #4

Michael DeForge might be the most prolific cartoonist working right now. He pumps more work and at a higher quality that would make any other cartoonist want to quit, or work harder…..no quit thats the correct response. On top of Lose #4 this year you can also see his work in the pages of Adventure Time comics, where he does the backgrounds,variant covers, anthology stories in  Nobrow 7 (more on that in a bit) and the newest  KUS, not to mention his on going serial Ant Comics, oh and his porn comic that he designs that features work by Johnny Negron, Brandon Graham, and Jillian Tamaki….more on all of them latter too…Bottom line, DeForge has a hand in everything and you’re probably a fan of his already, so read Lose, or Ant comics, or KUS, or Nobrow, or one of the million other things he worked on this year. King of comics 2012 goes to DeForge, no contest.

The Underwater Welder

Did I mention that DeForge is Canadian? Canadians….must be a universal sigh when cartoonist’s who aren’t Canadian talk about them. Jeff Lemire is another cartoonist hailing from The Great White North. Lemire had a full year of releases with Sweet Tooth Volume 4 and 5, the reprinting of his Xeric grant book Lost Dogs and Underwater Welder. Underwater Welder is for lovers of well paced, clear story telling, and the Twilight Zone. Lemire has an economy to his comics, the art is quick yet purposeful in the same manner as the writing, which rewards the reader with a world that they can envelope themselves in. Lemire is an odd school of cartooning, he’s not so deep into independent styled comics as DeForge, but he isn’t mainstream either (though he does write the only two books at DC still worth reading Animal Man, & Frankenstein Agent of Shade ). He’s a cartoonist in love with genre but doesn’t mistake comics to be only that.

Nipper Volume 3

Nipper Volume 3 finally came out! WOOOOOOO! I might be the only American to love Nipper so go buy it and prove my gross presumption wrong. Keeping in theme with brilliant Canadian cartoonists, Nipper volume 3 is the Canadian version of Family Circus, if Family Circus was anything like a real family and not so adorable that even your grandmother finds it lame. Always silent, black and white line work with one beautiful saturation of red dropped into each panel, Doug Wright creates multi-layered story telling, in the most simple yet still incredible complicated drawing. Just go look already, and then come meet me for coffee to talk about it, I’ll be here till next year trying to describe why it’s so effffffing smart.

Diary Comics 4

Dustin Harbin is yet another broken hearted cartoonist, upset that his nationality isn’t Canadian. Diary Comics 4 starts with Dustin talking about how amazing it is to be in attendance at the Doug Wright rewards (the Canadian version of the Eisners), and how he wishes we as American could take comics as seriously as they do. Why can’t we folks? Dustin’s beautifully minimalist drawings deceive readers with their simplicity, when they are really just the right amount of information needed, each mark done with purpose in mind and simply decroative. Go read em’ they’re good. And if your not a fan of memoir, you just like the punching and kicking comics, he did letter Casanova sooo…..I don’t know Matt Fraction wrote Iron Man for like a century right? See the full picture of creators not just the characters you like….

Pope Hat #3

Pope Hat #3 by Ethan Rilly. Rilly is surprise surprise, another Canadian. Pope Hats is technically 3 issues deep but you really only need/want two and three. In Pope Hats Rilly tells the story of Franny, a young law clerk at a massive law firm, picture Wall Street with less Charlie Sheen….okay no Charlie Sheen, just that one part where he gets punched in the face by Michael Douglas… Rilly drawings show traces of his influences but they don’t unhinge the story. You can see traces of Doug Wright’s drapery in the clothing, and bits of Shultz popping up in the rendering of grass and clouds. It’s like a love letter to days past when cartooning was a profession and getting a weekly strip in a newspaper was the dream. Pope Hats narrative shares a similar tone of nostalgia with its drawing, that bitter sweet pain, from an old wound.

Thats the end of Part 1. Part 2 on Sunday 12/23/12.

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The Weekly Pulse – Fantastic Fourth

Happy Americaday everybody! And what better way to celebrate the day that The United States became a thing that everybody was saying, than with a gigantic sale! And what better way to kick off a gigantic sale! than with a gigantic pile of comics! And as luck would have it, that’s precisely what Dan and I, your humble director Morgan, have in store for you today. What comics, you ask? SO MANY COMICS I blurt back while flinging Cape 1969 #1, I Told You So, God and Science, and Avengers Vs X-Men #7 in your general direction.

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How is Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 8?

Buffy season 8 started out as an exciting new development in the history of comic books. Where Television had disappointed fans by ending a popular show, comic books would pick up the slack and give the official account of our heroines  continued adventures, brought to us by the actual TV writers who made us fall in love with the Buffmeister in the first part.

How did they deliver on that promise? Grading on a curve (as we have to do for today’s America) I would give Buffy season 8 a B-, though in my heart I’d have to say these are C books at best.

WHATCHOO’ TALKIN’ BOUT’, UNKIE

There are three big flaws to Buffy Season 8. The first is the artwork.

Apart from Spider-Man dying/getting unmasked/getting magically divorced or other milestone comic books like Superman and Batman’s Massachusetts wedding (coming up in this week’s Batman #703) Buffy season 8 was the highest profile comic book for the past three years…so why didn’t it have a superstar artist?

Don’t get me wrong, the artist was fair, but not great. The fact that I’ve read all of the issues and still can’t remember the guy’s name is indication enough that the artwork was not the book’s selling point. In a comic about petite blondes and brunettes stabbing bloodsuckers, it’s VERY hard via the artwork to keep all the characters distinct. Continue reading

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Who are the X-Men?

Stan Lee had many astonishing insights as to what would sell comic books, not the least of which was to pander to his audience.

“If my merry band of Marvel marchers are nothing more than lily livered teenage freakazoids,” He must have thought, “Then I’ll make half the heroes in the pantheon of Marvel teenage milksops, too!”

This notion worked brilliantly with the bookish Peter Parker in the pages of Spider-Man, worked so-so with hot head roast-master Johnny Storm from the Fantastic Four and slightly less brilliantly in the pages of The Hulk where the tremendous jade giant was shackled with annoying teen sidekick Rick Jones.

Nowhere was the “protagonist as teenage outcast” more successful than in the pages of the X-Men.

STRANGE TALES

The X-Men were intended as an antithesis to the handsome, muscle-bound heroes of the golden age. Just as Lee and Kirby had done on the Fantastic Four, the X-men were created with internal struggles, awkward family dynamics and the strangest gimmick of all: they were all (supposed to be) ugly, freakish mutants unable to fit into society.

To audiences used to Superman and Shazam the X-Men must have looked far out. Angel was a thin teen with a frail body to support his massive wings, not the oiled up Hawkman of DC’s Justice League. Cyclops was Jimmy Stewart with a weird, one-eyed visor. The Beast was an overdeveloped muscle-bound ape more akin to gorilla than man. Iceman at this time looked more like a snowman.

They looked different and so they were shunned. THIS comic book reading teenagers could get behind! Continue reading

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Reboot Movie Fail

By your lovable old pal, Unkiedev

Hollywood movie producers would steal the liver out of a newborn baby if they thought it could turn a profit. If the taste of the day was mutants punching people’s grandmothers in the face they’d release a 12 disk DVD box set. Heck, for two cents they’d throw you and everybody you know into a giant blender just to get extra footage for “Saw 7.”

They aren’t nice and they aren’t your friends…but this time they’ve really gone too far. They have birthed a pig with two faces and they think we are so gullible we shall hail it as the second coming if they nail it to a cross.

And what is this evil I’m speaking of? What diabolical sin have they transgressed, placing a proverbial straw on the backs of our already weakened camels?

They’re making a CGI “Yogi Bear in 3-D” movie “staring” Dan Aykroyd as Yogi and Justin Timberlake as Boo Boo.

Put simply, this movie is the death of American culture. Continue reading

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Iron Man 2: The Review

By Devin T. Quin

In Iron Man 2 Robert Downey Jr. plays a booze swilling, millionaire at the forefront of civil defense who battles foreigners in order to secure his father’s legacy. It’s like the George W. Bush story, only Tony Stark fights his own battles! ZING!

In case you missed the first movie, Tony has an artificial heart he uses to run a powerful battle suit called the Iron Man Armor. As we join him in his sophomore film endeavor he has successfully privatized world peace, making a bundle as a scoundrel war profiteer, although his mechanical heart has burned out and is slowly killing him…So it’s more like the Dick Cheney story only Tony Stark actually SHOWS UP at Senate Committee hearings into his possible criminal malfeasance! WHOOOooHOOO! I’m on a roll!

At his side is his best friend, the decorated military hero James Rhodes a.k.a. War Machine played by Don Cheedle and love interests Pepper Potts and Scarlet Johansen. He is menaced by Micky Rourke who’s character name, I believe, was Ivan. The toys on sale for the movie name him as Whiplash, though he’s never called that in the film, which proves that toys are filthy G.D. LIARS! Continue reading

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Comic Con Exclusives 2010

By Devin T. Quin

Arg! T’is time again for the San Diego Comic Con, the biggest and most expensive trip most nerds will take outside of their parents basements this year. If you haven’t bought your tickets yet then take heart, because you can’t anymore. I’m sure the dang thing will be totally sold out by the time we go to press. Did I say “heart?” I meant “valium.” Don’t worry, you can always pre-order for next year….OH WAIT, sorry, pre-order for next year has probably sold out now, too.

Well, you can always do what I do: steal clothes out of my grandfather’s closet, pour talcum powder into my hair and flash a homemade badge as I power-walk through the gate, brandishing a cane and pretending to be Roy Thomas. “I reinvented Conan the Barbarian, dammit!” I scream. I don’t think anyone’s caught on to me yet.

“Why go through all the bother?” you ask?

Because the con is a hotbed of exclusive swag, items so magical and rare that you could finance the overthrow of a small third-world nation by reselling the con exclusives on ebay!  I hear they once offered a limited edition Megatron that transformed into an actual WORKING pistol! This one time I hear they sold finger bones from Batman “Creator” Bob Kane’s actual fingers! THIS ONE TIME I swear to god they were selling the actual bags of sand drained from the costumes from the desert scenes from Star Wars: A New Hope! Yup, I own a five hundred dollar bag of sand that was in Anthony Daniel’s foot!

What do you mean “Do they still sell Comic Books at this thing?” Who cares about the comic books, man?! This is the San Diego Comic Con! Continue reading

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Spoilers

By Unkiedev

“Spoilers” are like being buried up to your neck in sand, and having honey poured on your face to attract passing ants. I mean, most people don’t want it, but for a few folks “it’s their thing” and they’re welcome to it… just keep it off my web browser!

Still, there is a certain amount of fun in knowing things others don’t, but why do we need to have the actual intellectual properties we love ruined for that pleasure? NOT anymore, we don’t!

SIDE PROJECT

Introducing Unkiedev’s “SpoilerSpoilers.com!” We will NEVER spoil any of your favorite comic books, TV shows, video games and movies, but we WILL tell you WHO WILL and WHEN!

WARNING: “SPOILER-SPOILERS” AHEAD! Continue reading

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