Mister Pretzelplyx

Aspiring comic book creators, such as myself, can often feel small and insignificant next to the wide array of talents on display in this week’s new release comics. Regular titles such as Amazing Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, and even Aquaman are top-notch reads from great writers and talents!

Another example; Dark Horse Presents #12, will have a new Aliens story from Chew writer John Layman and drawn by Mr. Sam “The MaxxKieth, as WELL as classic space adventure from Steve Rude’s Nexus. THAT sort of all-star line up can make a cartoonist feel two inches tall.

Which is exactly how I feel, but not for that reason. My self-confidence is fine, My evil arch nemesis slipped a shrink serum into my drink. That’s right: I’VE SHRUNK MYSELF! HALP!

RULE OF THUMB

I’m the size of pretzel rod, and ironically, I was wearing a pretzel rod costume while I began this experiment…I do my best writing in my pretzel rod costume. I also do my best writing at my local bar, where some patron (undoubtedly working for my arch villain) slipped me the micro-molecular micky! I’m hiding amongst a bunch of OTHER pretzel rods, hoping to camouflage myself until the effects wear off.

Till then I shall continue to text in my column. Deadlines are deadlines. What were we talking about? OH YEAH: talent!

DC has Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale’s Batman: Dark Victory out in an Absolute Edition this week. This team of shining talent turned out some classic Bat-yarns! The Long Halloween (available in paperback, absolute, or any other edition you might want) and Dark Victory are the books I’d point too should anyone ask what inspired The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan’s big budget Bat-flick from 2008, as well as the Batman video games of late which have titillated and enthralled.

The Loeb/Sale team is one of the most successful Bat-teams of all time, and I should know; I’ve read this next book:

The Comic Book History of Comics, Fred Van Lente (W), Ryan Dunlavey (A), IDW

The complete history of comics, from ancient times to the thoroughly modern, told in comic book form by comic book professionals! Fred Van “Marvel Zombies” Lente and Ryan “Action Philosophers” Dunlavey dispel misconceptions, clear up the cobwebs and shine light on true genius as they chart comics’ ups and downs with humor, detail, and self-referential brilliance!

If you like comics but don’t know anything about them, read this book! If you THINK you know what you’re doing, read this book and learn why you’ve been so painfully wrong this whole time…you stupid wrong jerk.

UH OH! A thirsty bar patron is looking to get his pretzel on. DAMN ME and my forward thinking fashion sense! I have to stop texting about comic talents for a second while I run away in fear…hold on.

SAVING THROW VS PRETZEL RODS AND STAFFS

Drat! I’m hiding under a napkin now, but doom is imminent. How can I plug this week’s new issue of Juxtapoz, the magazine which showcases contemporary counter-culture artists, when death is nigh? YES Forbidden Planet carries magazines! Where have you been?

WAIT! I just remembered! I have the shrink serums antidote in my pants pocket…all the way back at my laboratory! If I can just hail a cab as a talking pretzel rod then I might be saved…I’ll have to convince the driver I can grant wishes or something, because I definitely won’t be able to pay the fair-

TOO LATE! I’m being eaten! With my very last text I send my column to you, dear reader, and I leave this world forever with the following catch phrase “If it’s too much fun for Earth, they have it at the Forbidden Planet!” AAAAAAGH! IT’S A WORK IN PROGRESS! OW, TEETH! HIT SEND! AAAAAGH!

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More musings from Unkiedev, Earth’s own sidekick, can be read at unkiedev.blogspot.com

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