Drama Dairy

In 1621, the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Natives of Massachusetts put aside their differences on a cold and dreary Friday in November so they could keep each other company as they waited in line to be the first people through the door at Wal•mart. They new that a Wal•mart wouldn’t be built for another three hundred plus years, but that didn’t matter. On that special day of togetherness, all they cared about was getting the best parking space chronologically possible in order to take advantage of the huge doorbuster sales and savings.

To pass the time, the Natives teased the Pilgrims about their monochromatic wardrobe. The Pilgrims, as always, wore black, as it was slimming. The day became known as Black Friday.

We still celebrate this day of commercial gathering, this annual event of spectacular discounts and companionship today. Eventually we tacked on the previous Thursday as a day of feasting in order to fill ourselves with the calories necessary to get through a grueling day of high impact shopping.

We at Forbidden Planet hope you will join us; your comic book retail family; as we get together like the Americans of old and honor the forward thinking wishes of those visionary pioneers. We wish you the very happiest Black Friday you can have. And just like those best friends of yore; the grim, puritanical Pilgrims and those wacky fun loving Native Americans; we invite you to spend this magical day of togetherness with us.

Our door will be open. Bring a friend! Nobody should be forgotten on this special day.

ON TO BUSINESS

I’d like to tell you to keep a close eye on some great new books this week, such as Oil and Water, the spectacular new graphic novel drawn by Eisner winner Shannon Wheeler (Too-Much-Coffee-Man) which takes a hard and startling look at the recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, or Fantastic Four #600 which plans on being a high-water book for Marvel events. DC ain’t looking too bad this week with new issues of Batman: The Dark Knight #3, and you’d really have to be a communist to pass up BOOM! Studios Ron Paul #1.

But none of that matters, now. In fact, nothing really matters this week. Not Football, not turkeys, not even the grit and determination of the Wampanoag natives as they struggled under their deerskin slankets, warming their hands and waiting, waiting, waiting.
Nothing else matters except for this:

MILK AND CHEESE: DAIRY PRODUCTS GONE BAD HCEvan Dorkin (W/A), Dark Horse

The big, 240 hard cover collection of every single Milk and Cheese comic of all time FINALLY hits the shelves this week…and when I say “Hits the shelves” I mean that in the most literal way possible.

Milk and Cheese is the funniest comic ever written on the subjects of anger, violence, Jack Klugman and, above all else, the dairy industry. You will piss yourself with mirth reading about these two adorable scamps of spoiled food-stuffs as they smash, slice, gouge, and batter the living beejeezus out of every single living soul on Earth.

If you’ve ever wanted to see a wedge of Cheese, drunk on gin, kick a baby right in the cranial soft spot then you need look no further.

I do not do this often but there are times when it is appropriate: DON’T THINK, JUST BUY THIS BOOK. BUY IT NOW and in MULTIPLE COPIES. HORDE this hard cover like it was currency, and never let it out of your sight until you’re dust in a coffin. DO IT OR

FOREVER SUCKETH.

Happy Black Friday.

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More musings from Unkiedev, Earth’s own sidekick, can be read at unkiedev.blogspot.com

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