Speculative Diction

Anyone who believes in “comic books as lottery tickets,” that is to say that by purchasing collectible and significant comic books you can resell them in the future for a massive payoff, is a person of extreme optimism on a par with someone letting themselves get bitten by a radioactive spider in the hopes of one day kissing a red-head.

Still, you might want to pick-up Hellboy The Fury #3 and Fear Itself #5 this week for no reason whatsoever. Certainly nothing interesting is going to happen in either issue that might make them appreciate in value. Pffff. Perish the thought.

The better idea to make money off of comic books is to buy up every indie title you ever come across…for serious. Next time you go to a big con just walk yourself down artist alley and buy every single book down the line. ONE of those books is going to be the next big thing.

OR PERHAPS

Then again, I have another sure-fire way to make money off of comic books and YOU FOLKS can join in on the fun. It IS comic book speculation, but not how you’re thinking of it.

Alright, follow me on this one: Marvel and DC both have their big summer events out. DC has Flashpoint, and is still pumping out issues of Darkest Night follow-ups. Meanwhile Marvel has Fear Itself, as well as starting up its two new event books X-Men: Schism and Spider-Island, the “everybody in New York City has Spider Powers” book that kicks off in this week’s Amazing Spider Man #667.

NOW FOR THE MONEY

All we have to do is think about every future summer event they will have for the next couple of years and register the domain names. That’s right: cyber-squatting future Marvel DC events!

Seeing as how many of these things end up as movies, video games, and licensed toys, this idea has some legs…now to figure out what to gobble up!

DC names half of their events with “Crisis,” “Infinite,” and “Earth,” as well as comments on how bright, light, or dark things are. They will often shake it up with catch phrases. “Infinite Shake Up” isn’t that bad of a bet…same goes for “Shadow Earth” or “Blackest Crisis.” I think I’ll go with “Invisible Jets,” a cross over where Wonder Woman’s invisible jet goes nuts and threatens all of existence.

Marvel crossovers are even easier to name: Civil War, Secret War, Acts of Vengeance, Fear Itself…just grab any turn-of-phrase from the American Lexicon and you’ve got yourself a Marvel Summer event. How about “D-Day” or “Voo-Doo Economics.”

I’ve got it! The next big Marvel event will be called “The New Deal,” and it will be about the economic downturn closing the doors on heroes with high rents to pay.

DEV’S PICKS

FANS OF 100 BULLETS TAKE NOTE: This week Vertigo Resurrected is publishing the long out of print Jonny Double, the comic book that united writer Brian Azzarello and artist Eduardo Risso and is essentially 100 Bullets #0 in all but name only! DEFINETLY worth checking out.

ALSO: New Avengers #15 has Squirrel Girl vs the bad guys. You should buy that. LONG LIVE SQUIRREL GIRL, the coolest super-gal in comics today.

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