Ghost Blusters

By Unkiedev

GHOSTS! That’s what I’ve been bothering me at all hours of the night, moaning, rattling chains and generally making themselves look like asses…although I’m sure they think they’re pretty clever, don’t you Ghosts?

I suppose you think it’s cool that you’ve sundered the billowing veil between life and death. You sure seem to think it’s clever, as you keep cackling and howling all dang night.

GRRR! How the heck am I going to read Marvel’s Fear Itself #4 with Ghosts sticking their semi-permeable hand through my face, knocking down my vases and stacking my chairs?! It’s going to be even harder to read DC’s analogous summer cross over book, Flashpoint #3 (also available this week) than Fear Itself because everybody knows that The Flash REALLY get’s ghosts up-in-arms. I mean sheets.

I guess fighting fire with fire can’t hurt…I’ll try picking up IDW’s Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #4 and seeing whether the ongoing tale of oversized, out-of-control monsters will calm them down.

FOUNDING FATHERS

On this Fourth of July week I can’t help but question the wisdom of our founding fathers. They can outlaw fireworks for general consumption outside New Hampshire, but they can’t pass an amendment making ghosts illegal?!

GREAT books out and I can’t read a dang one of them. There’s a wispy, Civil War era ghost floating around my living room, twirling my reading glasses from the rusty bayonette of his spectral rifle. Even if I had this week’s issue of Batman and Robin #25, completing a story where the three Robins of Batman’s past must team up to fight a common foe, I’d still have to get my glasses back…and that Ghost is a rebel, so you know he’s lookin’ for a fight!

Fear Itself: Uncanny X-Force #1 seems like a good pick. Too bad Ghosts are barring the way out by tossing fire pokers and china plates across my door so I can’t leave. Same goes for 50 Girls 50 #2, the continuing adventures of too many girls but not enough clothing IN SPACE.

I haven’t been reading enough X-books, really…do these Ghosts care? Noooo!  I’d love to pick up Uncanny X-Men #540 this week, a Fear Itself Tie-In and also check out the hoo-ha over this new X-book, Vengeance #1.  Maybe…

I’m going to try and make a quickie exorcism kit out of a few old cardboard paper towel tubes, tied together with twisty ties to make a cross, and some dish-washing soap as Holy Water….be right back.

RIGHT BACK

NOPE, that didn’t work and now they’re more pissed than ever. Sigh…I guess I’ll never be able to pick up that Vertigo collection of the X-Files/30 Days of Night TP that out this week, but-

Wait! They’ve stopped! Does this mean that, if I go buy the X-Files-meets-the-30-Days-of-Night mash-up comic from Vertigo, you Ghosts will leave me alone? (A shaggy, Hippie ghosts with one half of his face melted off is nodding “Yes.”)

Well there you have it, folks! If ever you should have ghosts in your house you can de-hauntify with Trade Paperbacks of TV/Film mash-ups…Collections that are plentiful on the racks of your wonderful comics and counter-culture emporium, the Forbidden Planet!

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