Daylight Savings

by Unkiedev

From Superman’s weakness to Kryptonite to Cyclops’s inability to damage ruby quartz, many of our favorite comic book heroes have limits to their powers in order to make them relatable.  I believe Wolverine has a peanut allergy.

This past weekend I was awaken in my cave by the growls of an angry bear.  This happens a lot, as the bear is my next door neighbor and he’s a bit of a grump.  Last week he’s upset at the new cast of Dancing with the Stars, the week before that he was pissed Social Network didn’t win the Best Picture Oscar.

This week, however, he was cheesed off because I promised him a ride to work.  He works at the local Zoo where he puts on a lion costume and hangs out in the lion cage until the REAL lion returns from a vacation.  He was upset because I over-slept.

Yup, I forgot about day light savings time.  “Spring forward, Fall back,” is the expression, though I like to describe it as “Party an extra hour, Forget to take a Bear to work.”

You know who REALLY hates Day Light Savings time?  DC’s HOURMAN!

HOURMAN

Like all DC heroes, Hourman is any number of people, androids or future descendants of said people/androids who have superpowers for one hour owing to the addictive medicine called Miraclo.  And you thought Avatar’s “Unobtanium” had a goofy name.

What Miraclo does, aside from get you 12 to 30 years in jail if found on you by the police, is grant the user super strength, speed, invulnerability and flight for ONE HOUR. It has also been known to give people glimpses of the future, albeit only one-hour into the future. Other side effects include drowsiness, dry-mouth, nausea, loss of appetite, a decrease in blood pressure, diarrhea, depression and diarrhea related depression. Pregnant women or the elderly should NOT take Miraclo.

Hourman is a lot like the Bumblebee Man in the Simpsons. He doesn’t get to do much anymore, but he’ll show up in every crowd shot, team roster, summer event and background as an active, positive hero. In this capacity you can catch him in Kingdom Come, Crisis on the Infinite Earths and Final Frontier, ALL great reads and ALL featuring Hour Man call-outs.

HOURMAN shines in the great Golden Age by James Robinson and Paul Smith.  Marvel’s the Twelve and dc’s Final Frontier do not even come close to capturing the drama of Golden Age.

Golden Age deals with the early super-teams and heroes of the 30’s and 40’s DC universe trying to reinvent themselves in the post-war era.  Impressively dark with highlights of redemption and political paranoia, Golden Age will be ripped off for generations to come as the definitive retro hero comic.  The brilliant opening sequence of Zach Snyder’s Watchmen could almost be viewed as a tribute to Golden Age, rather than the comic book that inspired it.

HOUR POWER

HAS anybody confronted Hourman with the greatest challenge he’s ever faced, that of having to fight super-villains at 12 O’clock on the Saturday night before Day Light Savings Time expires? Has anybody ever pitted Hourman in a heated battle on the Arizona/California border where his “One-Hour Powers” would have no effect due to the competing Time Zones?

I do not know. All I know is I get royalties if Grant Morrison ever uses any of these ideas, and that a grumpy bear is a difficult next door neighbor indeed. He won’t play Marvel vs Capcom 3 on Xbox live with me anymore.

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