The Heroic Routine – Super Heroes in New Comics

FIRST OFF, Galacta: Daughter of Galactus one shot is out this week by Empowered creator Adam Warren. I expect you all to buy a copy. Two copies if you can. Adam is one of the brightest talents in the biz.

NOW:

Sequential comic books are categorically unfair to the heroes that must inhabit them. Every month the Flash must appear in a book, sometimes multiple books , and keep fighting the war on villainy. Already we have a problem.

That means that there is a never-ending supply of evil. The Flash can save the world, even the universe and still have to be beck next month to stop something else. In this economy it would be a small wonder to have job security like that.

Let us put this thought into the back of out thinking caps as we examine who the best strategists in comics are.

VILLAINS OUT

We’re going to strike out any super-villains in the first inning: they suffer under the same principal flaw of a monthly comic book that the heroes do. Characters like Gorilla Grodd, Lex Luthor, Hulk’s the Leader or even Dr. Doom are supposed to be the smartest guys in their respective worlds. So why do they lose all the time?

The problem is both logical and limited. First, no comic book writer can truly write what it must be like to think 1000 better than a regular human being. Secondly, the villain has to be defeated by the end of the story or else there IS no monthly comic.

Unless they one day establish that Lex Luthor own the patents to silicon computer-chips or Velcro, that Simon Cowl is a Doom-bot built to sway the public in Doom’s favor or that Gorilla Grodd is “Ben” of “Ben and Jerry’s” I think we can count them out as REAL men (and gorillas) of any vision and strategy.

BATS VS. CAPS

DC has Batman, Marvel has Captain America. Who is the better strategist?

Well, Captain America could have single handedly won WWII if it wasn’t for all those pesky soldiers getting shot in front of him. Still, he was a good enough leader to make them all feel better for their inadequacies in the wake of his excellence.

“Good Job, Soldier.” He’d say. “What’s your name?”

“Cannon Fodder McShot-a-lot, Sir.” The plucky wounded man would reply.

Conversely Batman can out think and out fight any enemy on multiple Earths if he has enough time to plan it out, and he does it all without the aid of Steve Roger’s precious Super Soldier Serum. NO, Batman doesn’t INSPIRE others to great heights as Captain America does, but he will dangle others FROM great heights if they don’t do as Batman asks, so that’s kinda’ similar, right?

So who is better?

CYKED

All I know is they’re both better than Cyclops of the X-Men. Often called “the best strategist of the Marvel Universe” All that guy can plan out is getting his friends killed in grizzly ways. Sure, they always come back, but that’s small consolation to a career of lackluster leadership.

OUT THIS WEEK:

Siege #4, Avengers #1, Legion of Superheroes #1 and DC Legacy #1. Hop to, Soldier!

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